Posts Tagged ‘cramps’

The news nobody wants to hear

{ August 24, 2008 @ 9:57 am } · { Pregnant at 36!!! }
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So, it’s been a long week. I had my first official OB appointment on Monday, and it turned out to be my last OB appointment. The midwife couldn’t hear the heartbeat with the doppler so she had me get another ultrasound (my 4th). Unfortunately, there was no heartbeat, no cardiac activity. The little bean stopped growing.

To say I was devistated is a complete and utter understatement. I was ironically much more concerned with the effect this would have on Coz than on myself, since he’s gone through this before. We spent much of Monday blaming ourselves. I called my mom and told her not to come over, but of course she didn’t listen to me and at the insistence of my stepfather she did come over after work and brought flowers. Moms have a way of knowing when to hear you and not listen in just the right way.

I was given the option to miscarry on my own or to have a D&C. The thought of waiting to miscarry was the most terrifying thought so I immediately opted for the procedure. They couldn’t do it until Friday, which was another blow, having to wait so long to take care of things.

I had to go on Wednesday for a preop appointment with the OB of the office, whom I’d not met yet. I brought a bunch of questions with me. She reassured me that Coz’s fears (drug use in the 70’s) had nothing to do with this, and that any sperm affected would have been gone years ago. She also said his DNA wouldn’t have been damaged, which was his greatest fear. She reminded me that it’s thought that 25% of ALL conceptions end this way, generally due to some genetic quirk that makes the fetus non-viable.

She then proceeded to tell me–several times–how I’m of ‘advanced maternal age’ and therefore I have a 1 in 2 chance of miscarriage because of this. She also suggested I think about seeing a specialist should we consider trying to conceive again. She called my womb old so many times I’m considering applying for an AARP card for my uterus.

I did go to work on Thursday. One coworker wouldn’t stop hugging me, and it got to be pretty damn annoying. Everyone else however was cool, which helped.

The procedure on Friday was much easier than I anticipated. They let me keep my mp3 player so I drifted off to Genesis and awoke to Genesis. They’re one of my favorite groups because Coz sings so much of them and he’s such a huge fan. I had no nausea at all, and didn’t have any pain until several hours later when I had some cramps that weren’t too bad. I don’t remember anything after sliding over onto the operating table, having the oxygen tubing placed in my nose, and putting my legs in the stirrups. The next thing I remember is waking up in the recovery area.

I did overdo it yesterday because I felt so well. I’ve had hardly any pain other than the occasional twinge. I’ve had nothing but spotting until last night when I strained to have a bowel movement. I’m skipping the state fair today because I’m sure all that walking wouldn’t be a good idea so soon after. I did ALL the bed linens yesterday, including the kids’ stuff, blankets included.

Speaking of the kids, they seemed to handle the news as well as could be expected. I think it’s probably weird for them because the idea of the pregnancy was still an abstract concept to them. I wasn’t showing, there were no kicks to feel, etc. Jesse did ask me right away if we were going to get pregnant again. We are, although we have to give it a few months.

The tissue that was removed during the D&C is being sent to the lab for pathology, and is also being sent to genetics. They’re going to try to grow enough cells to run genetic testing on the tissue to see if they can determine the reason for the fetal demise. Coz and I are also going for preliminary genetic screening to see if either of us are carriers for anything. I was advised to wait until I have two periods before we try to conceive. This should give the genetic testing enough time to come back (she said about 6 wks is average) and also give the lining of my uterus enough time to replenish itself. I’ve upped my iron to twice a day to help this along.

We’ve decided once we get through our blood tests and my post-op appointment in a few weeks we’re going to find another OB. I have absolutely no problem with that office as far as the GYN part goes, but they’re sorely lacking in compassion at times in the OB arena. I in no way blame them at all for what happened. I am still mystified however at the spotting because I’ve been told this had nothing to do with it. So what was the reason for it then? This is one of the questions I’m bringing up with the new OB when I find one.

My goal is to be pregnant by Christmas. I’m not looking forward to spending all of next summer pregnant but it beats the alternative, right? I’m confident that advanced maternal age aside, we’ll have no problems this next go-round. I’m also confident that I will be in better shape physically when I do conceive again. My biggest concern has been how soft I am around the middle, and with all the pelvic rest and spotting I was afraid to even do Kegels so half the time when I sneeze I wet myself a little bit. That’s fun. Maybe I am getting old? NAH!

Round up the usual suspects

{ July 15, 2008 @ 11:25 pm } · { Pregnant at 36!!! }
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As any fan of detective movies knows, any time there’s been a crime, the lead detective has to say “Round up the usual suspects”. It’s in the movie-making bylaws, look it up. One of the tests I had yesterday was a vaginal culture, to see if any of the usual suspects could explain, in whole or part, what’s been going on. I got the call today that I am indeed a victim of sorts, of something called bacterial vaginosis, or BV for short. In the interest of furthering education, here’s some solid information on BV taken from the Baby Center website:

What is bacterial vaginosis?
Bacterial vaginosis (commonly known as BV) — the most common cause of abnormal vaginal discharge in women of childbearing age — is an infection caused by an imbalance among the bacteria that live in your vagina. . Normally, “good” bacteria, called lactobacilli, are in the majority and keep other kinds of bacteria in check. You end up with BV when there are too few lactobacilli, which allows other bacteria to grow out of control. No one knows for sure what causes the balance of bacteria to change. About 1 in 5 women have this infection at some point during pregnancy, though estimates vary widely.

How does having BV affect my pregnancy?
BV when you’re pregnant may raise your risk for preterm labor and birth. Some studies have also linked the infection to a higher risk of miscarriage, preterm premature rupture of the amniotic membranes (PPROM), and uterine infection after delivery.That said, many women with BV have perfectly normal pregnancies. Experts don’t yet know why only some women with BV end up delivering prematurely. Some researchers think that BV may be just a sign of other infections or problems that lead to preterm birth. They do know that women who are diagnosed with BV early in pregnancy are at a significantly higher risk for problems than those who get the infection later in pregnancy.Having BV also makes you more susceptible to certain sexually transmitted infections (STIs), such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HIV, if you’re exposed to them.

What are the symptoms of BV?
At least half the women who get BV have no symptoms at all. If you do have symptoms, you might notice a thin, white or gray discharge with a foul or fishy smell. This odor is most apparent after sex, when the discharge mixes with semen. You may also have burning when you pee or irritation in your genital area, though it’s not common. Let your healthcare provider know if you have these symptoms. Before prescribing any medication for you, she’ll examine a sample of your vaginal fluid and cervical secretions to see if you have BV or another infection.

Like many women, I had absolutely no symptoms. Fortunately, the screen for this is simple. There’s actually one test that screens for yeast infection, trichomonas, and gardnerella at the same time. I’ve already gotten started on the antibiotic and I’m hoping this takes care of things.

I’m continuing to feel better today. I’ve not had any pain or cramps, and the only spotting is the familiar brown when I wipe. I’ve also had a pretty relaxing day. I was up around 8:30 but was still tired, so I went back upstairs and crawled into bed with Coz around 10:30. I must’ve dozed off to sleep because when I woke up it was 1:45 in the afternoon. I’m glad I managed to get some decent sleep. I’m hoping I won’t have any trouble falling asleep tonight. On another pleasant note, I’ve finished the first of many projects for the baby, a blanket I started some years back. Coz says it’s very non-committal, genderwise. My grandmother says we’re having a boy. Coz says he always felt if he had another, it would be a girl. Either way, I can’t wait to find out.

Tuesday….waiting…..

{ July 15, 2008 @ 1:43 pm } · { Pregnant at 36!!! }
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I spoke to the nurse at the ob/gyn office this morning. She was a VERY nice woman with a soft, calming voice, which helps immensely. She said the NP hasn’t reviewed the ultrasound results yet, but that the u/s did show the gestational sac and a yolk sac, no fetal pole, but the radiologist felt this was appropriate for the getstational age. She said what usually happens is I’ll have bloodwork tomorrow to recheck my HCG levels, as they should be doubling about every 48 hours right now. If they keep increasing, that’s a good sign this is a viable pregnancy. Provided they keep increasing, I should expect more bloodwork and another ultrasound next week to reevaluate things. It’s not overwhelmingly comforting news, but I’m okay with things right now.

I’m trying like hell to stay excited and to be positive. Of course it’s a double-edged sword because on the off-chance something does happen I’ll be all the more upset. It’s funny, part of me doesn’t want to get attached to this pregnancy. I guess it’s a sort of self-preservation. I’m tough though, and I also don’t expect anything to go wrong. The spotting has almost subsided; there’s only a bit of faint brown on the tissue when I wipe. I already had a BM this morning and that went fine, no bright red blood or anything else unusual. My cramps from yesterday have gone away. I did manage to get about 7 hours of sleep this morning, which is the most I’ve gotten in one stretch since I can’t remember how long. It’s a beautiful day today. Not too hot, and not many clouds in the sky.

I think since I have the day off of work I’ll try to be productive, within reason. I’ve already tackled the moster pile of papers on my desk (ok, for the most part) and I’m working on getting more jewelry listed online. One thing that I’ve been neglecting the past week and a half is my business, Square Effects. I have a website I haven’t updated in well over a month. www.SquareEffects.com.
I sell my jewelry online at three different venues currently; an American site: http://www.squareeffects.etsy.com, a Canadian site: http://www.icraft.ca/squareeffects, and the British site: http://en.dawanda.com/shop/SquareEffects. It takes quite a bit of time to photograph, edit the photos, and upload everything. You can’t skimp on any one step from preproduction to listing for sale, if you want your product to sell itself. I have more inventory that’s not listed for sale online than I actually have listed because of the time involved.

I just heard back from the ob/gyn office. I need to be on ‘pelvic rest’ at least until the vaginal cultures come back tomorrow. This means nothing in the vagina, no heavy lifting or straining. Damnit, I know it’s something I have to do but I really wanted to get some laundry done without having to wait for Coz to wake up (it’s 10:15 and he’s still asleep). Oh well, I do what I have to. I guess that means I can work some more on the baby blanket I’m crocheting.

Spotting, cramping, and doctor’s offices

{ July 15, 2008 @ 1:02 am } · { Pregnant at 36!!! }
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So, it’s Monday evening, and it’s been a long day. I called the OB office first thing this morning, and they rescheduled my appointment to this morning at 10:30 as I was still spotting, and also having some cramps. I started having some vague discomfort in the area of my right ovary, which for me isn’t unusual, but together with the spotting it made me nervous. I had to have a bowel movement this morning around 9:30, and I became VERY nervous when I had a few drops of bright red blood with it. THIS freaked me out, because I was having cramps as well.

10:30 comes around, and I had my appointment, which left me underwhelmed to say the least. The NP I saw is one I’ve seen before, and she dresses far too casual for me to consider her a professional. Today she had on knit palazzo pants that looked like grey cutoff sweats, and flip flops. I told her everything that had been going on, and she did an internal exam and also took some vaginal cultures to see if I have an infection that might be the cause of the spotting. She said my cervix was “nice and closed” which was a good sign. She also said my cervix looked easily irritated which could’ve been the explaination for the bright red blood when I pooped earlier.

I was done there by 11:15 or so, after having my blood drawn, but I wasn’t able to have a sonogram until 3 p.m. They had to do an internal vaginal ultrasound, which wasn’t painful but it did make the cramping worse. Basically I don’t kjnow anything other than the gestational sac measured 4W5d, and they didn’t see a fetal pole. The tech told me this isn’t uncommon with me being as early as I am although I’m not that reassured because the websites I’ve been frequenting say there should be something there on ultrasound.

The nurse/phlebotomist (I forget what she is officially) called me around 4:30 to tell me my hcg level was in the 8,200 range but the idiot didn’t even run the results by the NP I saw before she called me. When I asked her if this means things appear normal she had to go and ask. The NP had her tell me my levels are right where they should be. Unfortunately, I really don’t know anything else at this time and it’s extremely frustrating. I’m a nurse, I know how things work, so I’m hopeful to have some of my dozen or so questions answered tomorrow, specifically what the next step is. From the research I did online, the recommended thing is to repeat the ultrasound in 3-7 days, since the fetal pole wasn’t visualized.

I also need to know what I should or shouldn’t be doing, activity-wise. I’m taking tomorrow off, but my main goal other than relaxing is to get some damn sleep. I only managed about 5 hours this morning, and between that and the stress I was exhausted much of the day. I did get some sleep when I finally got home after the podiatrist appointment. I’d like to know if I can take a shit without causing bleeding, and the fact that I have to worry about this makes me crazy. I’d also like to know I can have sex again some time this year.

It’s about 12:30 a.m., and for now the cramps and the spotting have stopped. I’m cranky tonight though, because my significant other has been somewhat of an ass, while trying to be funny and joking. We finished watching the 6th season of MASH tonight, and now he’s engrossed in his computer while I’m typing this. I think my plan is to take my mp3 player upstairs and try to get some sleep.